A new little princess to add to the family

What a relief today was! I cannot explain the anxiety that I have had this whole month waiting for this appointment. I don't know what it is about a miscarriage but it messes with you. I have been worried that this little peanut was not going to make it and that I was going to have to go through another nightmare. But she is past the ugly phase, FINALLY. All is well she looks good and is active just like my other two. She will fit right into our wild and crazy bunch. I was so excited to see her sweet face and her cute little nose. Ah babies are such a blessing.

Good read

I saw this book a long time ago and thought that I had to get it for my children. I finally got it about a year and a half ago and have to say that it has become a favorite. This story is about a little girl who hides the fact that she loves Lima beans because she thinks everyone will make fun of her. She ends up on a wild journey that shows us that being what everyone else wants you to be is hard, scary and not worth it. We should not hide who we are or be ashamed of it. We read this book last night before bed and I loved that my girls picked it out. I want them to know that they should be proud of who they are and everything about them. Life is not about making other people happy by changing who you are. If people cannot appreciate you for the wonderful unique things about you then, who needs them.

Tourette Syndrome

These two little worlds have been in my thoughts and my daily life for the last 7+ years. I had heard of it before. Read a few books about it, made a few jokes about and never really put a lot of thought into it. UNTIL I fell in love with a man who just happens to have it. So I did what any potential bride would do. RESEARCH. I read everything I could get my hands on about the subject. Cally having it never changed anything about the way that I felt for him. It did not define him, but it honestly enriched him. My mother in law uses the word humbles and I think that is a good term. I chuckle thinking about what my husband would be like if he was not humbled a little bit by his disorder ( he is already so obnoxiously cocky, a quality I actually adore :)) This has not defined him, it has helped shape him into the person I love.
I knew that the possibility was there that our children would be affected by this someday. I thought long and hard about it and decided that I was willing to take the chance. I read all about the heredity and found that girls were affected 75% less often then boys. When I had two girls, I am not going to lie I was a little relieved. If a female child is going to get something it is usually a lot more mild like just a tic disorder or a little OCD ( or a lot OCD).
Tourette Syndrome is not a death sentence, it is just something that some have to deal with. You can live a perfectly normal life and succeed in every area. The key to a good life it a good family and a good support system. I am lucky that Cally's mom is amazing. She never treated them ( Cally and two of his brothers have tourette's) any different. She didn't let them wallow in self pity, she didn't let them do more because they had something wrong with them. She treated them just the same as she would have if they didn't have it. This a model I think anyone should adopt with children. Not just children with special needs or children with a disorder, all children should be treated like children and never feel like they are entitled to certain things or cannot do certain things. All things are possible to every child and special treatment just creates nasty or whinny children.
So what am I getting to with the rant about TS? Well about a month ago Regan started to do something; at first I just thought she had a runny nose. Then she was clearing her throat and I thought she might have allergies or something. But in the back of my mind I knew that neither of those things were what was going on. She didn't need/want a tissue she wanted to get rid of this feeling she had. I just locked it up until Cally called me and told me that he thought she has a tic. I said "I know" and then I cried. I looked up the research again on diagnosis and when it starts to show. Regan is at the age when things start to appear. Diagnosis is a tricky thing. There is not a blood test there is not a brain scan, it is all behavior monitoring. No doctor will give a diagnosis for it if has been less then a year with the behaviors. Right now the tic she has is a complex verbal which coincides with TS. She has not developed a physical tic yet, but when/ if she does we pretty much will know that that is what it is. It could just stay mild and be a little tic disorder, or it could be full blown TS. I am grateful to know. I cannot imagine what my inlaws as well as my husband went through with years of dr. visits , tests, medications, and frustration. I am lucky to know. Not knowing what I am dealing with would be miserable.
I am sadden by this. But only because as a parent we just want our children's lives to be perfect. We want to be able to protect them from everything bad in the world. But we cannot. And it stings knowing that although I love her no matter what, that someone eventually will make fun of her, not want to be her friend, not want to date her, because of something so small. She is an amazing child and I have no doubt that she will be able to handle this all with a beautiful smile on her face and a positive attitude to go along with it. She is a smart, happy, fantastic child, who gets to have an extra challenge, that will keep her humble, sweet, understanding of others and compassionate. Qualities that I wish all of us were forced to develop, and she pretty much has no choice but to be amazing.

Here is a link for more information, if you are interested or just don't know anything about it.
www.tsa-usa.org

My Bed

While I was making my bed this morning, I got to thinking about how this one piece of furniture has played such an important part in my life. I bought the bed when I first moved to Oregon, the first day I had it I was taking a nap and woke up to Cally proposing to me. I think about all the wonderful moments in that bed. Obvious ones like wonderful intimate moments with the man I adore, to late night talks, crying in his arms when life has been hard, tickle fights and real fights that end with making up. Creating a family and cuddling with those beautiful children when they are sick, or had a bad dream, or just really want to be with mommy and daddy. Nursing and getting up in the middle of the night while my sweet man slept through the screaming and I wanted to hit him with a pillow. This bed has been such a beautiful part of our lives and for whatever reason ( I will blame it on pregnancy hormones) but it made me really emotional thinking about it all today.

So behind, might try to catch up later... but just some good news for now.

After a long and crazy journey, here we sit again. We are in a different place this time and although we are overwhelmed with the timing, we couldn't be happier. We are having a baby in December! It is going to be insane. Cally is going back to school in the fall, I am starting a Master's program ( and no I am not taking a semester off, I will be going back to school with a two week old YIKES) Our life is about to be turned upside down, but in a way that only a beautiful new baby can do. We are grateful for this child. Everything is going well, the baby is getting really big and making me sick :). We should be able to find out what the gender is next time we go in and really couldn't be more excited. Our kids are excited and keep debating over what they think it is. Regan wants a brother since she already has a sister and Lauren just is happy to have a baby. She is such a sweet helper, she always brings me food and say "your baby wants this" and hugs my belly and talks to the baby. So sweet. We are stoked... things are wonderful. Life is great.